Monday, November 23, 2009

**CONTEST** Win a $10 Barnes & Noble Gift Card!!!

cashier Pictures, Images and Photos

Because the people at work are trying to kill me you, my friends, get lucky!

This year I took a position at as a kiosk manager for a popular sausage/cheese chain at my local mall. The job would last for seven weeks. Or at least that's what the district manager told me. What she didn't tell me was the job would last either seven weeks or until my head exploded.

Last Wednesday was my day off. During this time I received seven frantic phone call from employees for various things that really didn't need my immediate attention. I didn't think that could be beat.

I was wrong.

Yesterday, Sunday, was another day off for me. The mall closes early on Sundays, and yet, I received EIGHT phone calls. To give you an example of what they sounded like here's and actual transcript.

ME: Hello?

EMPLOYEE: Hey. We can't find the paychecks.

ME: They're in the safe.

EMPLOYEE: No they're not. I looked.

EMPLOYEE #2 in background: I looked too. They're not in there.

EMPLOYEE: Did you move them?

ME: No. I put them in the safe.

EMPLOYEE: I looked in there. I really need my paycheck. Did you take them with you?

ME: No. They're in the safe.

EMPLOYEE: **Exaggerated Sigh** Fine. I'll look again. But they're not in there.


EMPLOYEE. Oh my God! The checks are in the safe! They were under the change bag the whole time!

(Keep in mind the change bag is clear plastic)

ME: **click**

5 minutes later my phone rings again

ME: Hello?

EMPLOYEE #2: Just calling to let you know we found the checks!

ME: **hangs up phone and heads to liquor store**

Keep in mind also, that I'm soon to be thirty and most of my employees are older than me.

So here's the deal, in order to keep some semblance of sanity, I've decided to turn my next day off into a contest. That might make the phone calls a bit more interesting. Here's the deal:

Sunday, November 29th, is my next day off. Please put in the below comments your guess as to how many phone calls I receive that day. It might be zero (doubtful), it might be 100 (more likely). If your guess is the same as someone else's I will shuffle the winning guesses and pull out a random name. The winner will receive a $10 Barnes & Noble gift card! Sound like fun? I hope so. The only other contest I could have was guess how many phone calls it takes for Cole to drink herself into a drooling stupor. And the only winner there is me :)

The contest ends Saturday at midnight so get your comments in now!!!


  1. Since that's a big shopping weekend, I'll say 12 (sorry!).

  2. Lmao, this brings back memories. I'm going to go with 9 and a half. The half being the one time you'll think about calling them because of a two hour abscence of them calling you. You'll never call them though because you'll discover on your way to the phone an unoppened bottle of Sangria Wine. But that's just my uneducated guess.

  3. That was a great story, funny as always! By the way, I LOVED your tweet last week about the cell phone kid. As someone who is occasionally sensitive about getting older, ahem, I thought it was hilarious.

    So, my guess...I will be optimistic and say 7.

    Good luck!

  4. OOHh the Sunday after Black Friday at a mall...15, easily!!! Yep, 15 calls

  5. I am SO going with lucky #13.

    Maybe your next book should be nonfiction. "Mall Madness: My Seven Weeks of Sausage & Hickory Schtick." Signed copy with each $50 purchase.

  6. 8.I'm an optimist. If they call more, send the kiosk mafia i.e. those people who sell the dead sea hand scrub and hair straighteners after your employees

  7. It makes me feel better to know there are incompetent people everywhere, not just where I live. (Ever been stuck in line when the cash registers are down? It seems no one can actually make change any more.)
    I'll guess 12, thinking maybe they'll be too busy to call more.

  8. Why, when you said sausage/cheese kiosk, did I picture Jackie from That '70s show?

    I'll be nice and guess 4.

  9. Big weekend, so I'm guessing 14. Yep, 14.

  10. LOL! Having worked as a customer service supervisor, this made me snarf out loud. Love it!

    I'm going to guess 8, which can also be the number of tequila shots you'll need to make it through the day ;). Have fun, and keep us posted!

  11. I think none since all your customers will probably be sleeping from shopping all weekend or they will have found you here and will just leave comments! BTW: How much does 2lbs of cheese and a sausage log cost? LOL!

  12. I'll say 9. Nine is a pretty number. Also, they might think twice about calling you if they realize they'll be going into the double digits.

  13. Lol, you are hilarious. Ah, retail. You've got to love it. :D Ok, I'm going to guess 7 calls. I hope for your sake that it's 0. ;) Good luck!

  14. I'll say ten. Maybe i'll come to the local mall and watch you at work. Do you wear a little apron?
    Good Luck!

  15. I'm not anonymous. I just did this incorrectly the first time. I still say 10 calls, and I'm still going to come by and watch you at work one of these days.

  16. I'm going to be nice to your minions and say 6. What's really sad is you may get like 17, but hey nothing wrong with healthy optimism. *thumbs up*

  17. I'm going to buck the trend. They won't have as much time to call, so your phone will ring three times. One call, however, will be from them begging you to come in and you will have to sort something out in person on your day off. So very sorry.

  18. Yikes, those phone calls can wear a person DOWN! I'm hoping this doesn't happen, but I'm guesiing 14 phone calls. It's the busiest shopping weekend of the year after all... :-/

  19. Since phone calls from people too timid to solve their own problems are teh ebil, I'm going to pick 13.

    (That's a kinder number than picking 666, which it sounds like you might get.)

    I used to get those too, only from my boss. *sigh*

  20. LOL! I'm soooo glad I'm not in retail! I was going to say 13, but Philangelus beat me to it, so I'll go with 11.

    I plan to post your contest on my blog tonight. Best of luck next Sunday!

  21. Oh, shoot! I was gonna say 13 too! How about 4. Even numbers are good. Best of luck!

  22. HAHA! I remember this from my Starbucks days. I'm going to say 15. Sure, it's a little high, but most places don't staff the "A" team on Sundays ;o)

  23. I'll be kind to you and say 5...