Wednesday, December 8, 2010

New Blog Chain Post: How to Make Cole's Head Implode

This week's blog chain post was started by one of my besties (or at least I thought she was until she decided to give me an aneurysm) Michelle McLean. Michelle says:

In 100 words or less, write a story using the words ride, post,
soulless, local, dehydrator, girdle
. Your story may take on any form you wish. The only two rules are 1. you can't simply list the 6 words; you must actually craft them into something creative, and 2. you must use ALL six of them.

To which I say, "GAH!" You see, short fiction in all of its forms is the bane of my existence. I just cannot do it. Countless short story contests have proven this fact. I have no idea why writing less words would be harder than writing MORE words. But it IS. Why, Michelle, WHY do you hate me??? Okay. Whining done now. I'm going to give this a go. Just remember, though, what you are about to read cannot be unread. I make no apologies. You have been warned.

Once upon a time there was a camel named Humps who was tired of all the soulless locals that would ride on his back. Sitting atop his hump, their fat butts felt like bowling balls bouncing on his back and their legs were like the laces on a too-tight girdle. So, Humps devised a plan. He placed an ad in the Daily Post advertising a free screening of Harry Potter. After the people showed up, Humps locked the door trapping them inside. You see, it wasn't a movie theatre after all, but a giant dehydrator. From that day forth everyone on Hump's gift list received jerky every Christmas. The end.

So, yeah. I'm pretty speechless myself right now.

Why don't you go cleanse your brains with the fabulous answers and writing styles of
Abby Annis and Shannon Morgan.


  1. Cole, that was HILLARIOUS!!!! :D And I have to say, my short game SUCKS. I just can't write short stories of any kind. I'm much too long-winded.

  2. I give you an A for this.

    I hope the creator of blog chains goes to visit Humps. ;D

  3. LOL! I'm glad humps got revenge. It was well deserved. ;)

  4. Wow! That was great! I could not hold back the chuckles :-D

  5. LOL that was awesome! And you know I love you :D I like doing these....but then I'm a bit on the strange side ;-D Excellent excellent post! :D

  6. OMG that was awesome! And you were worried about it? You hit this one out of the park. Nice job as always, Cole.

  7. This needs to be a picture book. Humps Grumps. I'd totally buy it.

  8. I would be in a dehydrator right now. Gulp.

  9. That sounds like something I could've written. And, yes, I mean that as a compliment, smart ass.

    Although I would've used Twilight in place of Harry Potter for a fan base more deserving of jerky-licious end.

  10. OK, now I'm going to have Dr. Seuss' "Mr. Gump & the Seven Hump Wump" stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

    Oh well, better that than Rick Astley. :-)

  11. LOL. I'm with you. I'm terrible with short fiction. But this is funny. I'm picturing the camel.