Monday, March 28, 2011

Blog Chain Post: Breaking up with the Internet

Hi Internets. You've probably noticed that I've been avoiding you.

Well Internets, pull up a chair and sit down. We need to talk. It's not you, it's me. Well actually, who am I kidding? It is you.

You see, you're constantly flaunting the successes of other people in my face. And, while I'm genuinely happy for these people, there gets to be a point where a level of - let's call it frustration - starts to build. And when that happens, I start to not like myself. I don't want to be the person who asks, "Why not me?"

So I've decided something, Internets. We need to break up. Now don't get me wrong, we can still be friends and hang out. But our torrid love affair? Over. You're not good for me and I don't like who I am when I spend too much time with you.

Wait. What? You want to know if there's someone else?

Well, I didn't want to bring it up, but since we hang out in the same circle I figure you'll find out sooner or later. Yes. I'm seeing someone else.

Sewing and I hooked back up. I know. We were lovers before and, while sewing doesn't always give me the same dangerous thrills as you do, sewing doesn't make me feel bad about myself. Sewing is always there for me and doesn't care whether I'm good enough or whether someone is better. Sewing makes me happy in ways you never could, Internet.

So I put all of your things in this box. You'll find your Publisher's Marketplace in there.

What's that?

Of course I remember the day we shared my book deal in PM. I agree that was a happy day. But what I didn't like was how you continued to rub the other deals - the BIGGER deals in my face. I don't need that kind of pressure, Internets. I used to be thrilled with that fact that I was getting published. But you kept telling me that that wasn't good enough. And you see, I really don't need that kind of negativity in my life.

You'll also find a couple other things of yours in that box. A couple industry blogs and things like that. You see, you've smothered me. I can't possibly spend all the time with you that you're demanding AND write AND spend time with my family. I hope you understand. You might want to think about getting a puppy.

Also, I hope you don't mind but I'm keeping the Email, Twitter, and Facebook you gave me. They were a gift after all.

Anyway, it's only been a couple of weeks since I started avoiding you and I'm already happier. That alone speaks volumes. I'm sorry I had to break up with you on this very public forum but, as you can see, it's for the best.

Hi. Cole here. If you or someone you know is dealing with the pressures of being a writer, don't worry. This blog chain is here to help. Please stay tuned for tomorrow's post by Michelle Hickman when she'll tell you if she has any hobbies, tips, or techniques for staying positive and productive.
How about you? What hobbies, tips, or techniques do you have for keeping your writerly battery charged?


  1. Great post! I can't wait to pop something in for tomorrow.

  2. i knew we were friends for a reason. you get me! you really really get me!

  3. What? But you're so awesome! And you're already super successful in my eyes.

    All kidding aside, I get it. Just stay in touch and I'll meet you at DragonCon!

  4. *stands up and applauds*

    WELL said, Cole. I feel the exact same way. I've noticed something the past month or so...the more time I've spent on-line, the LESS time I'm being an actual writer. Branding is great and necessary and all that, but really, what will I be without a product to peddle? That product being my novels.

    There's a lot floating around the internets to make us feel "less than" and we have NO reason to feel that way. We ARE successful. YOU are successful. In fact, you kick ASS. 'Nough said.

  5. Love it!! And oh I sooo get it :D In fact, the Internets and I break up frequently. It's just a toxic relationship that I really need to get over. *sigh* Baby steps :)

  6. I can't live with it, I can't live without it...I hope that something better comes along!

  7. This is great; thanks for posting. Oddly, just today I made a resolution to cancel my PM subscription and some other things -- AND found myself wandering into a quilting shop, which is bizarre because I do not sew. But I think it speaks to this desire a lot of us have to do things that are more hands-on or inspiring in different ways, and to create rather than endlessly consume.

  8. I so so so so so get this!!!!!!! LOVE LOVE it!

  9. You're abandoning us? For needle and thread? Fine, have your sewing floozies! But I'm telling you, that needle is a prick ;-)

  10. ROFLMAO!

    Cole, I really enjoy your posts - no matter what the topic. You are so incredibly talented and I can't wait for your book to be in my anxious hands. This is an awesome blog chain post. It'll be interesting to see how everyone answers it.

    Oh, and if you do knit a comic book character on a pillow, you better share pics :)

  11. Oh, Cole. I so agree with you here. I think I owe you an email.

  12. SO. True. *hugs*

    I tend to avoid the "big" news stuff...I'm happy for the person, but I want it to be me, LOL!

  13. I hear you loud and clear.

    As for comparisons...Only Cole can live her life and travel her road. Those other cars zooming past? They may be on the fast track now, they may be on the high road, they may be driving shiny, bright Camaros while you're stuck in a 3-cylinder Yugo, but rest assured, girlfriend, others crash, others break down and some are pulled over for drunk driving, thrown in a slammer and become the new "lady friend" of some big dude named Tiny who has tattoes of daffodils on his anaconda-like biceps.

    It's times like that, girlfriend, that the Yugo doesn't seem so bad. After all, the road of life isn't a bad place to be long as you've got a great sound system and mobile access to a music catalog that kicks butt.

    Hang in there.

    Vrooom Vrooom.

  14. I absolutely love this! Made my blogging day.

  15. Best. Post. Ever. You always make me laugh. I totally agree, though. Maybe the Internet and I need to have a heart-to-heart as well.

  16. Best. Post. Ever.

    Wish I'd seen it before I committed to blogging every day in April...

  17. Oh, I know the love-hate relationship with the Internet all too well. Sometimes a break is the best medicine.

  18. Other than the PM book deal stuff, I could've written this. This is exactly how I've been feeling lately. Awesome post!

  19. This is the best post ever. I love that you are keeping Facebook and Twitter, cause they were gifts - that is just awesome!