Saturday, January 17, 2009

Taking a break to rant about a miscellaneous subject

Okay, I know that I haven't blogged in a bit. And I promise to change that. So here you are waiting, expecting a stimulating blog on writing and such (okay, so maybe "stimulating" is a stretch) and here I am, about to bore you to tears with non-writing related subject matter. Please accept my advance apology.

Here goes:

The economy. EEP! (I know. I went there.) If you haven't fled in terror yet, there's more. It's easy to blame CEO's and the Pres for our current economic situation - I'm not saying they're innocent - but let me offer another contibuting factor: Customer Service Representatives. Now I know there are fantastic, well trained, hard working CS reps out there, I've dealt with one this week, but let me tell you about the OTHER two I encountered. I'm pretty sure their hiring went something like this:

Human Resources: So, Broomhilda, where did you say you grew up?
BH: In cave in Siberia.
HR: And you lived there with your parents?
BH: No. I not born of humans, but created from friction of ice against razor rock of Ural Mountain.
HR: Okay. What skills can you bring to our company?
BH: I can skin a mountain rat with my finger nails.
HR: Mmmhmm. What hours would you be available to work?
BH: Any. I not require sleep.
HR: Great. What would you say is your best attribute?
BH: I do not know much language. I just repeat same phrases over and over again. Like dis, "Ma'am, I can not help you 'less you know account number."
HR. That's fantastic! What would you say is your worst attribute.
BH: Sometimes I fall into coma for minutes at time. Completely random. Usually while on phone.
HR: I think we can work around that. So, I noticed on your application that you do not have an emergency contact.
BH: Like I say, born in cave. Not human. No family.
HR: You mean to tell me that you've had no experience working with people whatsoever?
BH: No.
HR: Perfect! You're hired!

1 comment:

  1. HA! Yes, I've run across my fair share (ans then some) of those CS reps. Seems to be especially bad in the medical insurance know, because there isn't enough stress in dealing with medical issues in the first place.

    Funny vent! :)